Refinement

Today’s habit:

“She longs for the grace of refinement rather than the grace of relief.”

“She doesn’t have a personal agenda to fulfill when she faces steps of refinement. In fact, she longs for the grace of refinement rather than the grace of relief because she trusts the process of refinement. She accepts the perspective godly people offer her in difficult situations. And she embraces the process of becoming better through her mistakes.”

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This week has been a struggle for me spiritually. I’ve taken my frustration out on those around me and I’ve honestly done everything BUT trust God.

When I came home from work on Monday I was dead. The day had taken its toll and all I wanted to do was be alone. My step-dad asked me a couple of simple questions and I snapped his head off for no reason at all. MY day was bad, so I was going to take it out on anyone who got in my way.

The next day, I felt really bad about what I had said the night before. I decided to send him a text apologizing.

Here’s how the text started: “Hey, just wanted to say sorry for snapping at you last night. I’ve been stressed and tired, but shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Love you and hope you have a good day.”

This wouldn’t have been a terrible text to send to someone, but as I reread it, I noticed that there was only one ‘I’ statement in the entire message. There was no ownership.

There’s a huge difference between saying “love you” to someone and saying “I love you.” People feel more connected when we know apologies and other meaningful statements come from the heart of whoever is saying them.

So I retyped my text to say this: “Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for snapping at you last night. I am stressed and tired, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I love you and I hope you have a good day.”

This all may seem really silly, but sending that text felt much better than sending the first one. I felt like I was taking ownership of the mistake that I made.

This situation taught me that I am indeed human. It taught me, like many of my other mistakes, that I will continue to make mistakes as long as I’m living.

But the beauty of God’s grace is that we learn and we keep trying.

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