I wrote this post for my first church camp counselor, Breeze. Our relationship has been a beautiful journey and one that I’m truly thankful for. You might remember Breeze from her guest post here on Pondering Reality! Be sure to check out my original guest post over on her site, Walking in the Journey, as well as more info on Breeze!
Take a moment and think about a few of your closest friends and how you felt after you spent time with them.
Still laughing from a funny story one of them shared? Overwhelmed with gratitude because they inspired you? Feeling relaxed, calm, and reenergized?
Or did they bring you down? Did they suck you into drama and gossip? Did they make you feel bad about yourself? Did they actually show any interest in what you had to say or did they simply dominate the conversation?
As I sat down to write this post, the first thing I did was Google search “how our friendships affect our lives and our time.” After reading and researching, I came to one solid conclusion:
our lives revolve around relationships. We depend on friendships; in fact we long for them.
One question I think we all need to ask ourselves is this: do our friendships build us up or tear us down? Are we investing our precious time with those who want to see us succeed or with those who relish in our failures?
I’ve spent far too many hours (I’ll never get back) with people who never had my best interest at heart.
I believe with everything in me that God wants us to have friends who energize and love us for exactly who we are.
Who encourage us to chase our dreams.
Who smile with us when life is good and dust us off when we fall.
Who aren’t afraid to stand beside us when we really screw up.
I can think of a handful of friends who not only do this for me, but make me want to be that kind of friend for them in return.
So how do we determine which friends we should be devoting our time to? Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Do they give you energy and excitement?
- Do they inspire you to follow your dreams?
- Are they invested in the things you tell them?
- Are they trustworthy?
- Do they make you want to be a better person?
Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. I would never encourage you to only spend your time with those just like you, nor am I saying our friends should always be upbeat and positive. I mean, what are friends for? We’re supposed to be there for one another in the worst of times.
I am saying, however, that there comes a point in everyone’s life when we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if the people we invest our time into are really worth it.
As humans, we desire healthy, steadfast relationships. We need relationships and moments with friends that help us refuel and give us perspective.
Who we spend our time with ultimately shapes us into who we are.
My desire for each of you is that you will find and cultivate relationships with people who love you for exactly who you are. Who think you are beautiful exactly as you are. And who will help make your time on this earth worth every second.
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!